To the writer of GQ’s article “Tim Robinson Broke My Boyfriend’s Brain”

To the writer of GQ’s article, “Tim Robinson Broke My Boyfriend’s Brain”:

After reading your piece, we can at least agree on one thing: neither of us wants you to be around anymore. Not because you described “Karl Havoc” as a “defeated mall prankster” (although- go fuck yourself) but because your boyfriend deserves so much better than you.

If this article wasn’t so belittling, reductive, and downright offensive—not just to fans of the show but to anyone who values mutual respect in a relationship—it might actually be funny. Because, let’s face it, someone’s complete inability to see themselves as others do? That’s not a Tim Robinson sketch! It’s you! You really don’t see the hilarious irony of it? Would it help if I said this article is the visual equivalent of you pointing at your boyfriend and blaming him, when in fact you’re the one who’s clearly in the hotdog costume?

Your partner deserves someone who sees his ability to endlessly quote his favorite show as a hilarious asset, not, as you ignorantly implied, a sign of brain damage. Brain damage? Seriously? The guy prefers watching a multi-Emmy award-winning comedy over jizzing himself over Vanderpump Rules, and you think he’s the problem? Vanderpump Rules? What is this, Reggie?

To wrap this up, I don’t know you personally, but based on this article, I can guarantee one thing: you have slick-backed hair and you live for New Year’s Eve.