HAVING TO DO THINGS MAKES ME CRY

A few months ago, I moved to another country for studies. I have been learning the language and trying to adjust to a new city, which was more difficult than i thought. The first few months were really hard for me. I ignored my studies completely and didn’t get out of bed for the first three months. I started to like living here, but now I have to work harder to make up for the times i didn’t do anything. I have to talk to my teachers and study for exams that I know nothing about. Even though I have accepted this dark phase of adjustment as relatively natural, I still feel horrible about living the consequences of my actions. I feel horrible about having to talk to teachers about my situation, having zero friends from school and still not being able to talk in this language despite trying to learn it for almost a year now. Now whenever I have to email a teacher, ask a classmate for something or even just sit and study, I start crying. While crying, all I can think about is how much joy don’t want to do that thing. I feel like I am being punished for having to do these simple things, and the feeling is so heavy that i can’t help crying. I really want to understand it. Is this shame, pride, trauma or am I just too spoiled?