transmitted immediately despite condoms

Warning: this is my (negative) experience! I don’t mean to be a downer but I need advice and it is my experience.

I got GHSV1 from my first boyfriend 3 years ago, had lots of outbreaks that only now started to slow down.

The first person I started seeing after this got it after we had sex just a couple of times.

It is great that people are positive here! Of course some have had very few obs and never transmitted it. However, the reality is that herpes sucks for some people and could be transmitted easily anyways.

I have 2 experiences and in both transmission has happened immediately.

I don’t know how to balance being positive and also careful and realistic. A lot of advice here for disclosing/dating is that it is a non-issue, no big deal, low transmission etc… That is not the case for me. How can I also have a normal dating life?

btw - condoms were used but not daily antivirals. I have taken antivirals daily before, but my doctors won’t prescribe them anymore. In my country (in europe) it is only adviced to take antivirals for max 1 year.