Venting

This isn’t a new concept to this sub but I’m just feeling so frustrated and I know you all will understand. My marriage isn’t a DB but we’re mismatched. Last weekend came one of the rare times (once a year or less) that my partner was in the mood but I wasn’t. Normally even if I’m not fully feeling things I push through and eventually get there but it was pretty bad- just a ton of work and family stress. My partner declined and said maybe we could try again the next day, which I agreed to, but was skeptical because typically they won’t have sex on a weekday. I then tried initiating the next few days and, as expected, was turned down. Fine. Then I started feeling my period coming on and told them. Still no to now, but definitely over the weekend. Aaaaand now it’s Friday and my period just came. So it’s a no until next weekend.

It’s my fault for turning them down but I hate that it feels like I have so little control over our sex life because I have to jump on every opportunity. We have just enough sex that I’m not going crazy all the time but not enough that I’m ever truly at peace in my body and it makes me so sad sometimes. I just want to feel like we’re equals and I can decide yes or no on any given day without having to weigh how a no will effect the rest of my month because I can’t count on their interest or willingness lasting past that moment.