Masturbation

Warning! Long post.

I posted this in the general HL community, but I feel like a lot of the responses were from men telling me I'm overreacting. So I wanted to get more woman's opinion on this.

My boyfriend and I have sex about 3 times a week. I'd like more, but I try to accept this frequency as it doesn't seem like it's going to increase at this point even though he's on TRT. My problem is, that he's masturbating. I get it, it's his dick to do what he wants with, but there are several reasons why it bothers me.

For starters, we've had our issues with sex. My gripe being that we don't have it enough and his being that I get "grumpy" when we don't have sex. He's asked, multiple times, to take a break from sex to which I obliged. Now, I wonder if he was masturbating during those breaks. Which brings me to my next point.

He intentionally hides it from me. Sometimes, he wakes up in the middle of the night and he masturbates while I'm asleep. He tries to hide the evidence, but I'm not an idiot. I've also figured out that he does it sometimes the days I go into the office for work. So he's supposed to be working, but I guess he has time to blow a load. Meanwhile, the last time I attempted to send a sort of spicy text while I was work, it resulted in a huge argument. I get that, he's not going to actively announce that he's doing it, but he's definitely being sneaky about it. Which feels deceitful.

I also wonder what he's getting himself off to. He has no "naughty" pics of me on his phone. My guess is, porn. Which bothers me because he straight up told me that porn doesn't do anything for him anymore because his ex (who was a porn star) turned him off from it. So, if that's not the case, then he lied to my face.

Lastly, it makes me feel like he's hiding his true sex drive from me. I get that, sometimes, it's easier to get yourself off and go. There are times, we don't have sex that day but yet he wakes up in the middle of the night and masturbates. It just makes it seem like he's doing that instead of having sex with me. Which after everything we've been through, would be super shitty. He's assured me in the past that sex is way better than masturbating. But maybe he was lying about that too because he was embarrassed about how I found out (long story).

I haven't said anything to him about it. I don't want to cause a fight. But am I wrong for feeling bothered about this? Ladies, please help.