Why him?
My husband passed away a month after our wedding back in May. We had been begging him to go to the doctor for months, but pushed it off/shrugged it off. He fainted 10 days after the wedding, hit his head, resulting in a TBI. He bled so badly, his red blood cell count was essentially zero. He had no coagulants. Hemoglobin at 1. Had an emergency craniectomy. Everyone was hopeful because he was young. Ultimately he would have had no quality of life, so when they extubated him and the following his oxygen levels dropped, we ultimately had to make a choice. The doctors told us he had severe cirrhosis and were amazed he made it through the wedding, (people were coming up to me at the wedding and asking if he was okay, and looking back, he does look terrible in the photos compared to before things started going downhill.) He had to have been in so much pain, but never said anything, because he didn’t want anyone to be disappointed, sad, or worried about him. Especially with the wedding. He was essentially a functioning alcoholic and did a hell of a job at hiding it from us.
My, and his future have been robbed from us. Nothing matters anymore. People say it will get better, but those people have someone to go home to at the end of the day, or got to share 30+ years with ‘their person’. I’m not old, but not 25 anymore (37F). I will likely never have a child now. No buying our forever home together. Nothing. Yes, I’m in therapy and also have a psychiatrist. My cats are the only things keeping me alive at this point, because as his friends and some of mine have proved, the world will keep on turning whether you’re in it or not.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Included one photo from the wedding where he doesn’t look like he’s on death’s door.
My husband passed away a month after our wedding back in May. We had been begging him to go to the doctor for months, but pushed it off/shrugged it off. He fainted 10 days after the wedding, hit his head, resulting in a TBI. He bled so badly, his red blood cell count was essentially zero. He had no coagulants. Hemoglobin at 1. Had an emergency craniectomy. Everyone was hopeful because he was young. Ultimately he would have had no quality of life, so when they extubated him and the following his oxygen levels dropped, we ultimately had to make a choice. The doctors told us he had severe cirrhosis and were amazed he made it through the wedding, (people were coming up to me at the wedding and asking if he was okay, and looking back, he does look terrible in the photos compared to before things started going downhill.) He had to have been in so much pain, but never said anything, because he didn’t want anyone to be disappointed, sad, or worried about him. Especially with the wedding. He was essentially a functioning alcoholic and did a hell of a job at hiding it from us.
My, and his future have been robbed from us. Nothing matters anymore. People say it will get better, but those people have someone to go home to at the end of the day, or got to share 30+ years with ‘their person’. I’m not old, but not 25 anymore (37F). I will likely never have a child now. No buying our forever home together. Nothing. Yes, I’m in therapy and also have a psychiatrist. My cats are the only things keeping me alive at this point, because as his friends and some of mine have proved, the world will keep on turning whether you’re in it or not.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Included one photo from the wedding where he doesn’t look like he’s on death’s door.