I’m a bad father

I am a complete mess. I struggle with BPD and Bipolar disorder I spend my money on women and gambling aside from what I spend on him. I make 40k a year so I’m not rich. I currently give him $800 a month and I don’t see him cause he’s in Missouri and I’m in California. I’m always broke and never have anything to show for it. I have 13k in debt. I lose money gambling, woman and alcohol at least a pint a day so nothing crazy. I’m 22 years old and I can’t lie I was completely heart broken when my baby momma called me saying her phone is filled with pictures of me my baby takes on FaceTime when we FaceTime which we do every day. He always takes pictures of me because he loves me. I just feel like an unstable loser I cheated on my baby mother and because of that we broke up and had to come back with my mom. Who is also living with her mom but we share a room it’s my brother, sister and her baby and my mom. It’s like 4 beds in one room. I’m kind of all over the place with this but I needed to get this off my chest. To my son I’m a super hero. He shows off everything he can to me and shows me off to people as well. He walks me around the house he’s living in showing me everything he thinks I’d find cool. He’s really special to me. My mental health is declining I’m feeling very depressed I just lost 3 thousand gambling. And I’ve had it up to here. Call me a bad father I need to be known as the worst father in the world. I am a loser I lost my baby momma and my son. I can’t afford to have him around cause I have no place and yes I understand I have an addiction with gambling and woman. I can’t let it go I have tried. I work so much I can’t even get professional help. I’m a mess. I don’t know what I need but if I was your son being 22 in this mess what would you tell me or advise me? I’m hurting because I’m hurting my son. I know one day he will grow up to hate me for what I have done with myself and I miss my baby momma I wish I can go back in time. My life could have been so perfect.