I want to reach out so badly

It hurts so much that he didn’t reach out over Christmas- for 4 years he was the one telling me how important I am in his life and how of it would ever fall apart he would still want me as a friend in his life and now crickets - since a bind sided breakup 5 months ago. I wrote a letter, I tried to call once after the breakup and nothing.

He was my best friend, we talking every day for three years…. It hurts so much and I just want to go back.