Was my father abusive?

Okay so this is kinda hard for me to type. For my sake and the sake of not making this post incredibly long, I’ll make some bullet points

For some background, I’m 22F and he disowned me (a couple times) at first when I was 18. I haven’t spoken to him in 2-3 years. The last thing I ever said to him was “fucking narcissistic sociopath” after he tried getting in my little brother’s face to try and… fight him? I think?

He was a good dad to me when I was a baby… But the older I got, the meaner he got.

•He was a VERY angry dude. Like, to everyone. Not just me. When I was younger I thought it was just because he was in the military but now I know it’s much deeper than that. From a young age I remember him getting in fights, punching objects around the house, making waitresses cry, etc.

•The first time he ever put his hands on me, I was 8. My little brother and I got into a fight and I pushed him down. So my dad comes over and picks me up above his head and slams me onto the ground. I remember I didn’t even cry regardless of how painful it was, I just stared at the floor.

•Another time I was 8, he didn’t like that I was taking too long of showers, so as punishment he took me outside in my bathing suit and made me take a shower with the hose. It doesn’t sound too bad when I type it out but I remember feeling absolutely degraded and humiliated. Like I was an animal or something.

•Growing up he would constantly make fun of me under the guise of playing around. For example, when I was 12 and wearing a tank top i remember him laughing and poking my stomach fat saying “ew what’s that?” And same thing when I got a pimple. I would be crying and telling him to stop but he would just laugh more and tell me I’m too sensitive

•The first physical fight I got into with him I was 11, I don’t really remember what happened except that I clawed the shit out of his bald head. The second time I was 14. He confided in me one day about how he finds my mom fat and unattractive and that how he’s thinking about leaving her. I ended up telling my mom and he found out obviously. He came into my room and called me a bitch before charging at me, slamming my back into the shelf behind me. In the process of ramming me into the shelf, he caused my mirror to shatter which ended up cutting my mom who was trying to break us up. Once she started bleeding he finally stopped and walked out. We didn’t talk to each other for 2 weeks after.

•When I was 13 my mental illnesses really started to peak. Hard. Both my parents thought it was for attention and refused to get me any help because it’ll just “give me ammo.” But I remember one night I was begging my dad to get me help and he asked me “why don’t you just go cut yourself.” I did later that night lol.

•And same thing when I was trying to rebuild a relationship with him after 18. I confided in him, telling him I was feeling suicidal and he said “well why don’t you just do it already?” Then realized what he said and said “I shouldn’t have said that”

These points are just a few things that I remember and that really stand out to me. But I ask if this is abuse because he didn’t beat me or anything (surprised he didn’t tbh) and I grew up pretty wealthy compared to most of my friends. And most of the time, I didn’t see him. He was ALWAYS working even when he didn’t have to. He said it was to get away from my mom but I think it was to get away from us too. (Thankfully, I didn’t wanna ever be around him either)

But when I did see him or heard his boots coming, my heart would race and I would always feel nauseous. Besides the constant name calling, like “freak” and “retard” Would you consider this abuse even though it was sporadic incidents?