DAE find it hard waking up each morning and seeing no messages from anyone?

For some reason this is really triggering for me. It's like an affirmation that no one cares about me, I'm unimportant, all that jazz. I find my phone extremely triggering and I particularly only want certain people to text me as well - they usually are the people who are hot and cold, inconsistent but who I've shared an extremely close connection with - why am I like this? I actually feel a sense of freedom without my phone but I feel like I need to have it around and be available - particularly in case of work things or if someone close to me urgently needs me. Does any one else feel extremely triggered by their electronic devices? It's most depressing in the morning for me. What can I do about this?