Autistic mums out there?

Any neuro spicy mums out there?

As an autistic mum to a 9week old today i foud myself not fully engaging with baby boy. IE play time! Today we where on the play mat and all I did was quietly watch him play....I suddenly realised I wasn't interacting with him like cooing, general funny faces or silly conversation. I love my boy and he is happy healthy gaining weight clean tidy, we play or sing or dance or I just walk round the house showing him diffrwnt things. I would love to go to some mum groups, but don't think I would cope and woud feel like I'm being judged as I'm not very sociable and awkward but would love my son to mix with other children.

Any advice or insight would be very much appreciated.