I'm struggling with extreme loneliness and other things, causing me to not know how to make friends. Trying to find a way to fix this.

So, this is gonna be a really vulnerable post and I'm hoping that people aren't too mean. I'm also in therapy and see a psychiatrist. I'm trying to work on myself, but it's really hard when all I have is myself and I hate myself lol. 31/F if that matters.

The past 4 or 5 years have been difficult and I went through some real struggles with my mental health (adhd, depression, anxiety, etc). I ended up losing all of my friends over it and I spend all of my days trapped in my apartment afraid that I'm too much of an empty shell of a person to ever make any real connections again.

I don't really have any hobbies at the moment and am quite shy and hypercritical in my ability to do anything, so hobby meet ups haven't been an option for me. I'm not opposed to them though, but they'd have to be super beginner. I also don't have a single friend, so I would have to show up alone to anything which I find that meetings tend to already have cliques and groups of friends there. I'm also struggling financially so as much as I'd like to take beginner courses in something, it's not very likely I can afford it.

I need something fulfilling in my life because I'm going crazy to the point of no return, but I don't know how to be social and hold a conversation anymore. I'm not the type of person who can go up to someone and start a conversation because my mind goes blank and I have brain fog.

My therapist told me about this book club that's not a typical book club-basically people meet up at a coffee shop to read their own choice in books and don't have the typically discussions about the books you'd see in normal book clubs. I feel like just being able to be around other people and mind my own business with the possibility of socializing is something I can handle right now. Has anyone heard about this type of thing?

I also don't drink or smoke, so becoming a regular at a bar isn't an option and I don't like coffee much lol.

I'm open to a lot of different hobbies/interests that others have since i enjoy listening to people talk about their own passions. I would love to find others that might be in a similar spot in life like me. Just casual, no pressure, no expectation hanging that I can leave whenever if I want.

I like creative stuff and watching live music. I go to live music shows a lot but ive found its not the easiest place to make friends. I do like comedy and improv, but would prefer to sit and watch rather than participate until im comfortable.

Sorry for the excessive info, I'm struggling to word this right. Hopefully some of it made sense and maybe resonated with someone.

Edit- hi everyone, wow, I wasn't expecting so many comments from nice people. I'm a little overwhelmed right now, but I'm working on reading every single one and hope to get back to a lot of you soon. I'm so grateful for all of the suggestions and offers, yall are so amazing ❤️