HM scary. red flag?

Hello, I arrived to my HF in the US 4 days ago. The HD is fine and very kind to me, the HK as well (11M) but the mom is very.. strange. First of all, I haven’t seen her smile ONCE since I’ve arrived and maybe it’s normal but I come from a very friendly and warm country. That’s not an issue though, but it is intimidating trying to joke with her and her looking at me with her dead eyes.. second thing, their previous AP is here and she is by far the sweetest and nicest girl I’ve ever met.

Yesterday and two days ago she was working the mornings (6:30-8:00) and I’ve told both the HP that I want to rest but I will join the in the afternoons to watch and see what she does with the HK (that’s what I did). Yesterday the HM calls me and was talking in a very passive agresive way, asking I haven’t joined them in the mornings and now she doesn’t know how I will manage the mornings since the AP leaves Sunday and I am working Monday morning. I told her I understand but she hasn’t asked me to, she just assumed I would and I basically had to apologize for her lack of communication. (My flight was 13 hours, happened many things along the way that she knows of and I told them already I need to rest and get used to the time zone difference, but if she would’ve asked me I would’ve joined in the mornings!)

Yesterday (Friday) me and the AP made plans to go downtown because she told me it’s very alive and beautiful there on Friday evening, we told the dad and he was more then fine with it and was happy that she was showing me around, later we told the mom after she got back from work that we are going out and she was asking her “how many times did you drive up there?” And the AP said 4 times, and then the mom was like “no, you guys aren’t going.” (Without any explanation or even apology for deciding that for us?) I’ve been independent since I was 14 and me and the AP both come from dangerous countries so her saying that put me off entirely. One thing that I couldn’t stand is someone controlling me and it felt like that.

Right after, the dog was licking a chocolate yoghurt that the HK was eating earlier off the table, it was for 2 seconds and I noticed and took it from her but the mom literally caught the dog’s two ears (they are very long) and she pushed the dog’s head backwards and screamed at her very loudly “NO!!” Repeatedly and then slammed the dog’s body onto the floor very aggressively. I was in utter shock and she was like “sorry about that” and continued her business. I went to my room and cried because it was scary, especially since I’ve JUST got here!!!

And I can see the way she speaks to the other AP she is very controlling and demanding. I told her I wanted to go to a church on Sunday nearby (10 min drive) and she was “I’ll see their website and get back to you”, and then afterwards she told me that their website pushes “gender norms” and that only male and female is normal to them, so she doesn’t allow me going there. I mean, I’ve read it and I get it but it’s a church? Idk?? And I was seriously researching that church for two months and now she just forbids me going there. I feel so trapped, I literally flew across the country to have more freedom and she’s treating me like her child. Her other AP’s were very sweet and gentle and people pleasing and I am the same way so I fear that she is going to use that to her advantage too.. I feel so uncomfortable, nobody made sure I eat (they haven’t toured the kitchen and fridge for me, I tried by myself but everything is different). Luckily the AP helped me make breakfast but lunch and dinner and non existent for me right now. Nobody asked me how I feel so far. Oh and me and the AP were making coffee in the kitchen two days ago and the mom came back from work and just trauma dumped on us everything (mind you, this is a day after I’ve arrived) and it was like for an hour straight talking about her problems and her personal life which made me very uncomfortable since she was waiting for us to advise her on those things? Very strange behavior.. and I am missing home more then ever and just wanna leave.

Sorry for this being long, I’m not sure if I’m exaggerating or not.. me and the AP went to the room after the dog incident and she told she never saw her that scary and that if she was me she would’ve thought that was a massive red flag.. I feel trapped and alone and that I’ve made the worst decision coming here. The HK has ADHD too and he had multiple outbursts at the previous AP but he’s been nice to me so far, but it’s a matter of time. They disclosed the ADHD and his meds but didn’t tell me about the multiple mental breakdowns he has. Idk what to do at all.