Some thoughts if you like to use 🍃

So I’ve tried a couple times to stop cold turkey because I was worried that I was dependent.. went spoke with my psychologist and they didn’t like the idea but said it was obviously my choice and if I need anything always reach out.. day 1 easy up until day 4 and there I am at their office crying because I can’t mask. I couldn’t hold anything in anything back all my coping skills were gone and I felt like I did when I met her just a burnt out puddle of mess. She went on to talk with me and assure me that keeping with the low dose of edibles that I use (10mg a night like around 5pm) is what helps me in all that. I’ve tried meds I’ve tried so many things and this for the past 4 years had been what’s helped me, but Reddit has a way of leading me down rabbit holes I don’t belong in like the leaves sub and that after reading post after post made me feel like I had to quit I was clearly an addict.. I explained all this and she was like .. “were you being lazy and unproductive like before” Me: no I have a great schedule and routine “Were you emotionally dysregulated or being distant from your friends and family like before?” Me : no I was thriving in those relationships “Is it causing you to be or feel like a bad parent like before” Me: nope I’ve actually felt like a fucking rock start but I let that sub convince me otherwise like weed makes you an automatic bad person and an addict After a lot of tears and talking I decided to go back and have my evening edibles ssri’s never worked for me stimulants never worked either (in-fact both gave me horrible side effects that made it not worth taking) I don’t know why I wrote this I guess to get it out of my head or maybe to see if I’m not alone in this..