South Indian girl dating a northie (Punjabi), need relationship advice please?
I am a south Indian girl, I have a very real fear of losing my own language. I know a lot of my fellow South Indian friends who feel like they have lost their own language from speaking in Hindi all the time. I attended school outside of India so there was no state board, I was forced to pick between Hindi and French, which i never quite approved of. I had to learn my own language through home-schooling.
Maybe this is the basis of my fears.
Over time I developed a sort of dislike toward learning Hindi ( so sorry if this offends anyone) because I always hated how it felt imposed on me. It could also just be the people in my life, but most Hindi speakers in my life blatantly ignore me because I don’t speak the language, which hasn’t helped. Don’t get me wrong, I can understand pretty well I just don’t have the confidence to carry out a conversation. But I despise how I get treated if I don’t speak a language and I hate feeling invisible for a reason like this. It has really impacted my mental health in the past so I have distanced myself from such scenes.
BUT NOW. by some twist of fate, my boyfriend that I love with my whole heart is North Indian. And I don’t quite know if it is my earlier interactions with hindi speakers that worry me. but he makes no effort in making me feel included, he continues talking in Hindi to people he speaks in Hindi with. I am not ready to have a conversation about this yet because I know I get triggered here with years of thinking about this.
It hurts me to think of losing him over something like this, I would learn to get good at the language and change it all just to keep him but I know I will get resentful over time, if the effort isn't reciprocated.
He doesnt show much interest in watching any of my language movies even though I have seen multiple Hindi movies with subtitles with him. Same with music. I have even heard him make interesting (potentially questionable) jokes about south indians, even with his mom.
It really makes me sad, it makes my throat close up, I feel he’s the one, I wouldn't want to be with any one else. but the problems we have feels too close to my own issues with language. Most inter-state couples I know also end up speaking in Hindi, I never understood why (is it because of a majority thing?) and even their kids dont speak the other language, it makes me sad
I was just hoping to get other people's insights, am I overthinking, what should I do
EDIT: He is Punjabi, I see a lot of people pointing that out, I forgot to mention only his dad is Punjabi and he lived in Delhi all his life, and speaks only Hindi to his family, so he really considers Hindi his main language not punjabi