What is an IIT, FAANG or SWE anyway?
Since this sub thinks everyone makes over 30 LPA by mid 20s, goes for foreign trips, drives Ferraris, goes to clubs every weekend and has otherwise high lifestyle, let me show the other side of the story, which is mine.
Profile:
Age: mid 20s
College: tier 1 (IIT, NIT, BITS, IIIT) BTech
Job: FAANG SWE in BLR.
Package: high
Gujarati, general category caste
Looks: 8/10
Height: decent (neither too short, nor too tall)
No addictions, no health issues.
So as soon as I completed BTech, I asked my parents to start AM search. They were a bit hesitant because I was too young, blah blah. I wanted to start AM search early because 50-60% of my friends from my city were in relationships (especially girls). "Earliest bird catches the worm." I had realised that if I get late, there is a high chance I may not be able to find anyone. Parents started telling all their friends and relatives, but everyone kept saying I'm too young. Little do they know that most people of my age are in relationships.
Then we signed up for offline and online marriage beauraus, having no success from relatives. I thought that since I'm from a tier 1 college, have a FAANG SWE job in BLR, I would get a lot of rishtas. So far, we have got very few (~5) rishtas from relatives and friends of my parents.
I was one of the biggest idiots.
It's been 2 years in search now, I'm now in mid 20s. Even now, we get very few calls from girls. Maybe once a month. We have called 100+ girl's parents by now. My expectations were bare minimum, and now they're falling too. Astrology crap made us lose a lot of matches. Only now my parents have realised it and stopped doing astrology crap, but the other side keeps doing it.
Now the shockers:
Most of them don't know what is an IIT, FAANG or SWE. They only care about package. Now I'm afraid to show my real package for obvious reasons, because it's one of the highest in India for my age. So I show a much lower package, but still more than all other guys in my caste. It's 5x salary of an avg girl. I'm open to BA, BCom, BSc, housewife, engineer, doctor, any type of girls really.
We have applied to girls of every type. From BA housewife to doctors. Most of them don't know much about IIT or FAANG. They simply reject me immediately on first call saying they don't want to move out of Gujarat. So they don't want to move to metros like BLR or Hyderabad. This is Bharat, the real India.
I have a lot of gujju friends in metros and abroad (US, Canada). They're also facing similar. The condition of metro guys like me is the worst. There is still little bit of demand for abroad, from a certain type of girls. Few girls would marry only for money and lifestyle. Those explicitly look for abroad only. All the other girls want to stay in our home state only. Almost no one wants to move to BLR or hyd. I did talk to a few girls in AM, but 80% reject me due to blr.
I know a few gujju boys who are 30, 32, 35 years old, working in metros or abroad who are unable to get married.
Due to my job, I'm stuck in BLR or hyd. Only other option is to give up on this career and do something else in my home state, or be a swe in Gujarat, or take up a remote job. But since those options are risky, I'm afraid to take those jumps.
Another option is to explore other castes.
The kind of girls who look for a high lifestyle like foreign tours, ferraris, clubs, iPhone etc while they earn little are a bit risky type. Those type of girls may be interested in me. I have met a few girls who earn like 30k pm and still want foreign tours.
Besides, most of the girls have been in relationships by now. Many of them have been physical too. Very few remain v anyway. V is a deal breaker for me. But as a man in AM, you can't have any expectations. Many girls are in touch with their exes and I'm hearing of a few cases of cheating with their exes. Dating apps also exist.
This doesn't mean no one is able to marry. Most guys in Gujarat who are doctors, engineer, CA, MBA, govt employees who make 50k+ or 1L+ are able to marry. Those who make this amount by my age are very few, but they're able to marry. Rest everyone is struggling. In my caste, the number of boys in AM is 5x of girls.
Advice for men:
LM is best. Try for LM as much as possible. Only if you can't, go for AM as a last resort. A lot of guys with avg career and less salary are able to get married in LM, but not in AM.
Try finding a girl on your own as soon as possible. Ideally in college. Don't wait for career and blah blah. The older you get, the fewer options get. You don't need to be a high earning FAANG SWE like me to get married. In fact, if you're a FAANG SWE like me, you may not even be able to get married.
Stay in your home state and work in one of these careers: doctor, software engineer, CA, MBA, govt jobs etc. Earn as high as possible. But don't move out of your state. When you move out of your state, your demand will drop. (Again depends on the state. I have heard that people don't have this mindset in UP Bihar. They move out regularly.)
If you're ok with high risk and low reward, start AM search early (by the age of 23). The later you go, the risk increases and probability of success goes down. Many girls would get married by their age of 25. So boys have high chances till the age of 28. After that, chances are low.
Hit the gym, get fit. Overweight guys don't have much chances. If you're in AM, girls expect a perfect 10/10 guy: high salary, good looks, fit, liberal and open mindset, rich family, good education, high lifestyle, good location etc. If you don't have any of these, you'd get rejected.
Be dharmik, sanskari, traditional and conservative yourself. And marry the same type of girl. This will also lead to a lot of rejections. But don't worry too much about it.
Don't do astrology, dowry or other such BS. Don't look for a beauty queen. You'll get an avg looking girl. You don't need a beauty queen. Chasing a beauty queen is how you lose your youth. Then you won't even get an avg looking girl in late 20s. Qualities matter more than beauty. Good looking girls get hit all the time. I meet very few good looking girls in AM. Most of them do LM. Only if someone isn't able to do LM after a few relationships, they would come for AM.
Our astrologer had told us: even a petrol pump ⛽ worker is able to get married. So don't lose hope. But who will tell him most good, high earning gujju boys abroad or in metros aren't able to get married at all in AM?
Munjya: "munni lagin"