Am I overreacting over my aunts reaction to my 20th birthday?

FYI, I only sent the one message and she only sent the one message. I cropped them to prevent identities being shared and non-related messages being shown. For some background information; I am a disabled individual (autistic) and live with my aunt (because I was kicked out of an abusive house at 18 and didn’t know life skills. I live with her now and am currently trying to get myself stabilized but it’s hard to find jobs as a disabled individual). I messaged my aunt to ask what she was thinking as ideas for my birthday, keep in mind my 19th birthday was supposed to be a full day with fun and family and it ended up with them canceling our plans and running errands instead and saying we’d just have a dinner (with people I barely knew who only came for free dinner). My cousin did not spend the day with me that day nor go to the dinner (she’s 16, 15 at the time) and she got broken up with later that day so my birthday turned into her breakup day. I’ve never had a true birthday party before… ever… (except when I was in my toddler stage) and now that I’m turning 20 I want something big (I’m not saying huge, I just mean large enough to have a theme. Like if it’ll be at a restaurant then have a themed cake and balloons and such. Doesn’t need to be expensive AT ALL) and my aunt responded saying she doesn’t think turning 20 is a big deal to which I disagree. I texted her saying if it’d just be a simple dinner I’d understand, which I would, however, I was saying that to be polite. I’d be hurt if it was only a simple dinner (I also got no gifts on my last birthday. It was as if they all forgot or put my birthday on the back burner. It did not feel like it was my birthday, it felt like a typical day which broke my heart) but I’d definitely be disappointed and hurt. Am I overreacting?