At my wits end

New here, this is my first post. My boyfriend has been a heavy drinker for most of his life, has a strong family history of alcoholism. Unfortunately he is also very functional and has not had any significant issues caused by drinking until the last 2 years. He got a DUI early last year and then another one 6 months later. The second DUI last year was coupled with a domestic incident with a family member and he had a long expensive legal process to deal with that finally ended recently (no jail time). There have been countless fights between us in the last 6-12 months that I believe are made exponentially worse by alcohol. He is a completely different person when he's drinking and I do not get along with that person at all. At this point, his drinking is so triggering that I'm very sensitive and reactive to it the moment I smell it on him. I should note he had been sober a couple years when we met. Even though he's been back to drinking for several years now, I miss who I met very much. He is a daily heavy drinker and drinks every evening, which is biggest chunk of time we have together since we both work during the day. Usually he has started drinking before I get home (we live together). He still cannot drive from the last DUI. There was a domestic incident between us a few months ago that resulted in me calling the police and he was arrested, so that's a whole huge thing now too. He's out on a signature bond (again) with a condition to not drink at all, but he's drinking daily still. After the no-contact ended with the most recent incident I told him I didn't want him coming home unless he stayed sober, which he agreed to, but here we are. I also told him I would leave if he came home and started drinking again...I have tried to put these "boundaries" over the years but can't seem to stick with the hard ones. He has blamed me for a lot, especially when I bring up alcohol and try to tell him how much his drinking contributes to our issues. I try not to bring it up anymore because it usually ends in a fight and I honestly don't feel like I can talk about his drinking to him without getting angry at him and just making the whole thing worse.I feel guilty because I will drink with him often. There is no excuse for that, it honestly just makes spending time with him more tolerable if I drink with him. I otherwise would just spend less and less time with him and would have no idea what he's up to. I don't necessarily need to be told what to do, I am not looking for solutions right now, just venting and talking it out. The anger, sadness, and hurt feel like they're getting strong each day. We were so compatible when we met and we're great together when he stays sober but that hasn't been the case for a long time now and I feel like he created this whole life with me and then left me alone in it to have alcohol as his partner instead.