I'm not male

I can't masterbait l can't ejaculate I can't fuck I never got an erection I never had a penis I will never get a woman pregnant or fuck like a real male does I'll never be loved as a male never be known as a male

Why do I wake up and pretend to be a man when I don't have a cock or even testicals, every morning I reach down for my crotch and just find the gross little silicone toy I put in there to pretend to be male. Everyone can see through my lies, I did not grow up as a male I did not have male childhood, male puberty, I'm just a mentally ill woman with a sick fetish why can't I be normal? Why cant I atleast be like those other trannies who don't care they were born this way.

I went through female puberty I bled like a woman I've lived the female experience and I'll always be a female

Why am I like this Why couldn't I be male? I need to ejaculate I need to get hard, hrt gave me a sex drive that i cannot satiate since I don't have a cock to stroke and its making me want to kill myself in the most violent way I can.

I dream of being reborn as a male after I die but even if there's nothing after death I'll take being gone forever then not being male

I'm so fucking disgusting there's a fucking unnatural oozing hole I my body and a messed up chunk of flesh dangling between my legs I want it off I want it off I want it off I want that vile tumor out of me I'm so repulsed I have to die I will never be happy being a trans I need to have a real cock or I'm killing myself i hate this disgusting body I want out I need out I feel so wrong that it hurts everything always hurts I can't stop shaking and crying my chest feels so tight my teeth won't stop clattering there's nothing I can do to make it stop I can't live in this body I just can't