i will literslly never find love

i have ZERO chance of ever being in a relationship. i don't even resemble a girl by any metric. even if i find a girl willing to pity a disgusting creature like me she won't ever see me as a woman. i'll just be some experiment for her and then abandoned. it's not like i'd be the first. i don't think i've ever been loved and i doubt i will even experience the feeling. love is the only thing i dreamed of but it will forever be out of reach. i hate myself every day for it