AITAH for running back to my toxic ex?

Hi all, I’ve been with my ex on and off for the past twenty years or so. For now we’ll just call them “Jagex.” I truly love them but I’m starting to think that they don’t appreciate me or love me. They keep saying one thing and doing another, and recently I’ve caught them going behind my back to investors trying to pimp me out. When I confronted Jagex about it, they tried gaslighting me and delivering all this corporate speak.

“Babe, it was just one survey. It didn’t mean anything. We promise we won’t do it again”

They always say this but it always go back to how it was. I’m the sole bread winner in the relationship and pay for everything. But they keep demanding more. I’m starting to feel like they don’t actually want me, but are just with me for the money. How much is enough? I spend all of my free time dedicated to Jagex already. I’ve tried leaving but it only lasts a few months before I get the urge to go back. I just can’t bring myself to quit.

We have two children together and one’s an Ironman. I don’t know what to do because I feel like I’ll be abandoning them if I leave. I’m not proud of this, but I’ve been seeing an MMO during the break. They’re much older but they seem to follow through on their promises and treat me with respect. But I need what Jagex gives me, especially late at night.

Am I the asshole here???